Children are a source of love, joy, and fulfilment, but they also require a lifetime of commitment, patience, and responsibility.
Having children is one of the biggest decisions you get to make in your lifetime. Sadly, not everyone chooses to become a parent for the right reasons.
Of course, children are a source of love, joy, and fulfilment, but they also require a lifetime of commitment, patience, and responsibility. Yet, many people enter parenthood for reasons that have little to do with genuine readiness or desire.
Wondering if you are in this category? Here are some of the wrong reasons to have kids.
1) To 'fix' a relationship
Some couples decide to have kids because their relationship is having issues. But sadly, a struggling relationship won't magically improve with the arrival of a baby.
The stress, sleepless nights, and added responsibilities can put even more strain on a couple. If there are unresolved issues in a relationship, they should be addressed before considering children, rather than hoping a baby will bring two people closer.
2) Societal or family pressure
It is common to start experiencing societal and family pressure to have kids especially when you reach a certain age or height in your career. This is when all the nosy aunties and 'friends' start asking questions about when you want to start having kids.
Other times it is because you are married and it's what's "expected" of you. But parenting is a lifelong commitment, not just a box to tick on life's checklist. Making such a major decision based on external pressure rather than personal readiness can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction.
3) Because 'it's the next step'
Marriage, career, house... baby? Just because society presents a certain life trajectory doesn't mean it's right for everyone. Parenthood should be a conscious decision, not something done out of habit or a sense of duty. If you're not passionate about raising a child, there's no rule saying you must.
4) To live through your child
Another wrong reason to have kids is if you are hoping to fulfil your unmet dreams through their lives. This can be being successful in sports, academics, or a career path they never pursued.
This usually fails because children are born with their dreams and interests. They should be allowed to carve their paths rather than carry the burden of their parents' unfulfilled aspirations.
5) To keep up with friends or social trends
Scrolling through social media, it is possible to see posts that glamourize parenthood and make you scream "my ovaries!" and then you tend to want to try it out. For others, they feel pressured to have kids just because their friends are doing it or because it seems like the "trendy" thing to do.
However, the reality of parenting goes far beyond the cute Instagram moments. It requires time, patience, and sacrifices that shouldn't be taken lightly.
With the above in mind, the next question would be what is the right reason to have kids? You should only decide to have children out of love, readiness, and a genuine desire to nurture another human being.
Parenthood isn't a solution to relationship problems, loneliness, or societal pressure, it's a lifelong journey that requires emotional, mental, and financial preparedness.
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