8 signs your relationship has become more platonic than romantic, according to psychology

As a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I've got some news for you. Sometimes, the romantic relationships in our lives can subtly shift into something more platonic.

It's not always easy to recognize this transformation, but understanding it is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships.

According to psychology, there are eight tell-tale signs that your relationship may be more like a friendship than a romance. And I'm here to help you identify them.

In this article, I, Tina Fey, will guide you through these signs so you can understand where your relationship stands. This way, you're empowered to make the best decisions for your love life. So let's dive in, shall we?

1) The spark has dimmed

We've all heard about the spark. That electric feeling that sends butterflies fluttering in your stomach and makes your heart race every time you see your partner. It's the hallmark of a passionate, romantic relationship.

But what happens when the spark begins to dim?

According to psychology, one of the first indicators that your relationship has become more platonic than romantic is a noticeable reduction in this sense of excitement and anticipation.

It's like the difference between a blockbuster movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat and a rerun of a TV show you've seen a dozen times before. It's still enjoyable, but it lacks the thrill of the new and unexpected.

Don't panic if you're noticing this in your relationship. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It could just mean that your relationship is maturing and settling into a more stable phase.

But if you feel like you're missing that romantic connection, it may be time to have a discussion with your partner about reigniting that spark.

Because yes, it's possible to bring back the sizzle even in the most platonic of relationships!

2) Quality over quantity

Remember the early days of your relationship when you couldn't resist spending every waking moment together? Well, as your relationship evolves, this may not be the case anymore.

From my personal experience as a relationship expert, I've seen couples who are perfectly content with this change. As the old saying goes, "absence makes the heart grow fonder."

But if both of you are always looking forward to time apart instead of together, it might be an indication that the romantic aspect is dwindling.

It's not about how much time you spend together, but rather how you spend that time. If you feel like your relationship is lacking in romance, try switching things up.

Plan a surprise date or start a new hobby together. Remember, it's all about keeping the flame alive!

3) Lack of physical affection

Physical affection goes a long way in maintaining the romantic aspect of a relationship.

Being in love often means wanting to be close, to touch and hold each other.

If you find that you and your partner are no longer holding hands, kissing, or cuddling as much as you used to, this could be a sign that your relationship is becoming more platonic.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I dive deep into the importance of maintaining physical closeness and how it can strengthen the bond between two people.

Don't get me wrong; physical affection doesn't necessarily mean sexual intimacy. It could be as simple as a pat on the back, a warm hug, or playful tickles that can reignite the spark in your relationship.

Remember, being physically distant can lead to emotional distance. So if you notice a lack of physical affection in your relationship, take steps to bridge that gap. A simple hug can go a long way!

4) Your arguments have changed

Now, this might seem counterintuitive, but hear me out.

Arguments or disagreements in a relationship are not always a bad thing. In fact, they can be a sign of a healthy relationship, where both parties feel safe enough to express their individual viewpoints.

But when your relationship is transitioning from romantic to platonic, the nature of your arguments might change dramatically.

You could find yourselves arguing less about personal issues and more about general topics - like politics, movies, or the weather.

In a romantic relationship, arguments often stem from deeply personal issues because there's so much at stake - your love, your future together, your shared dreams.

But in a platonic relationship, disagreements are less likely to be about personal matters and more likely to be about less consequential subjects.

It's not that you don't care anymore; it's just that the emotional investment is different. It's like the difference between arguing with a spouse and debating with a friend over coffee.

So pay attention to what you're arguing about. It could be telling you more about your relationship than you think!

5) More friends, less 'us'

Remember when it was always "us" time? Those days when you would rather stay in and watch a movie together than go out with friends?

When your relationship starts to become more platonic, you might find that the scale is tipping in favor of hanging out with friends more often.

I've noticed this shift in many of the couples I've counseled over the years. It's not to say that wanting to spend time with friends is a bad thing - far from it!

Friendships are essential for a balanced and fulfilling life. However, if you're choosing friends over your partner consistently, it might be an indication that your relationship is moving into the friend zone.

Take a moment to assess your priorities. If spending time with your partner feels more like an obligation than a desire, it might be time to reevaluate where your relationship is heading.

Remember, it's okay to let relationships evolve naturally, but make sure it's a journey you both want to embark on.

6) The future is foggy

Let's get real for a moment. When you're in a romantic relationship, you often picture a future together. You make plans, share dreams, and envision a life side by side.

But when your relationship leans more towards platonic, that future can become foggy.

It's not that you can't see a future together; it's just different. Instead of envisioning shared dreams and ambitions, you might see your paths diverging.

This can be a tough realization. It can leave you feeling lost and uncertain, questioning where you stand. But it's crucial to face these feelings head-on.

Remember, it's okay if your vision of the future changes. Relationships evolve, and so do people. The important thing is to communicate these feelings with your partner and navigate this foggy future together.

7) Less heart, more mind

In my years as a relationship expert, I've seen this subtle shift occur in many relationships. Instead of leading with your heart, you start to lead with your mind.

Your decisions become more logical and less emotional. This can be a sign that your relationship has taken a turn towards being more platonic.

In a romantic relationship, it's often the heart that takes the lead. But when the mind starts to dominate, it's possible that the emotional connection is fading.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It could mean that your relationship is maturing and you're making decisions based on mutual respect and understanding rather than raw emotions.

However, if you find that your heart is taking a backseat consistently, it's worth exploring if the romantic connection is dwindling. Remember, balance is key in any relationship.

8) The 'I love yous' feel different

This might be a tough one to swallow, but it's important to confront. When your relationship transitions from romantic to platonic, the "I love yous" may start to feel different.

In a romantic relationship, those three little words are often loaded with passion, desire, and a promise of commitment.

But when things become more platonic, while the love is still there, it might feel more like the love you have for a close friend rather than a lover.

It can be heartbreaking to come to this realization. The truth can sting, but it's also liberating. Acknowledging these feelings is the first step towards understanding where your relationship stands and deciding where to go next.

In the end, remember that all forms of love are valid and beautiful. Whether your relationship is romantic or platonic, what truly matters is the respect, care, and affection you have for each other.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these signs that your relationship is transitioning from romantic to platonic can be tough. But remember, it's okay. All relationships evolve and change over time, and sometimes, they take unexpected turns.

If you're seeing these signs in your relationship, it's important to have open and honest conversations with your partner. Understanding and navigating this shift together can actually strengthen your bond.

Here, I delve deeper into the dynamics of relationships, helping you navigate the complexities of love and attachment.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach.

Trust your instincts, have those tough conversations, and most importantly, ensure that the love you share is respected and cherished, regardless of its form.