Gaslighting is a real and manipulative tactic.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where someone manipulates another person to make them doubt their own perceptions and sanity.
These manipulators can be people you're in close relationships with like your romantic partners, friends, or even family members.
The goal? To gain control and power by making you question your own judgment, memories, and sanity. It can be incredibly damaging, leaving you feeling insecure, isolated, and unsure of yourself. But, with awareness and a few key strategies, you can protect yourself and reclaim your sense of self.
Here are five key signs to watch for and provide actionable steps to protect your well-being:
Do you ever find yourself questioning your own memory? Perhaps you distinctly remember a conversation, only to be told by the other person it never happened. This is a classic gaslighting tactic. The gaslighter might deny their actions, insist you're misremembering, or even rewrite history altogether. This creates a sense of confusion and makes you doubt your own version of events.
Gaslighters love to downplay your feelings. They might dismiss your concerns as "overreactions," "too sensitive," or even label you as "dramatic."
This invalidates your emotions and makes you feel like you're the one with the problem. Over time, you might even start questioning your emotional responses and become hesitant to express yourself authentically.
Gaslighters excel at creating a sense of ambiguity. They might contradict themselves, offer mixed messages, or tell blatant lies. This leaves you feeling constantly confused and unsure of what's real. You might find yourself walking on eggshells, trying to decipher their moods and actions to avoid conflict.
Gaslighters are masters at deflecting blame. They'll twist situations to make it seem like everything is your fault.
You might find yourself constantly apologising, even when you haven't done anything wrong. This tactic chips away at your confidence and makes you feel responsible for their happiness.
Gaslighters often try to isolate you from your support system. They might criticise your friends and family, make plans that exclude them, or even try to convince you that no one else understands you. This leaves you feeling lonely and dependent on them, making it harder to escape their manipulative influence.
Recognising gaslighting is a powerful first step. Now, let's explore how to navigate these situations with greater strength and resilience:
Trust your gut: Despite the fog of confusion, you likely have a nagging suspicion that something isn't right. Don't ignore your intuition. If you feel like your reality is being questioned, it probably is.
Document and verify: Keep a record of events, conversations, and interactions. This can be a journal, screenshots, or audio recordings (where legal). Having evidence can help you stay grounded and clarify what's actually happening.
Set boundaries: Limit contact with the gaslighter if possible. If not, set clear boundaries about what behaviour you will and will not tolerate.
You can say things like, "I won't engage in this conversation if you continue to talk down to me," and follow through with consequences like taking a break from the interaction.
Prioritise self-care: Gaslighting can be incredibly draining. Prioritise self-care activities that help you manage stress and reconnect with yourself. This could be exercise, meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature.
You deserve to be treated with respect and honesty in all your relationships.
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