Respect is a cornerstone of any good romantic relationship. If you don't feel respected, you probably don't feel seen, heard, or understood by your significant other. Being in a mutually respectful partnership will foster the growth and longevity of your relationship. Here are some common signs of lack of respect that you should look out for;
1. They don't honor your space or time
2. They speak in a derogatory manner to you
3. They don't listen when you're talking
4. They interrupt or talk over you
5. They don't make you feel valued
6. They ignore you
7. They lie to you
8. They flirt or cheat on you
9. They make important decisions without consulting you
10. They make you feel you are less important than they are.
What Should You Do If You Don't Feel Respected?
If your partner doesn't seem to appreciate you, here are two suggested strategies to use that might help improve the situation;
1. Improve Your Communication As A Couple
The first step is to focus on how you're both communicating with one another, especially during conflict. Then the partner repeats what they hear and just takes it in, tries to understand the new perspective, and doesn't react defensively.
The discussion is conducted on a whisper level because it's hard to actively listen if your partner is yelling. Its encouraging for both to make eye contact, and if it's appropriate, the speaker can gently touch their partner's arm while talking. The listener should also be making eye contact and responding that they understand or asking clarifying questions.
2. Be Clear on Your Boundaries
Focus on major boundaries with your partner. Did you set them and make them clear? One example: your partner agreed to clean up the shared desk each night because you work from home. You should not have to continually explain or justify why this is necessary; your partner should be respectful. Speak up if your partner crosses these lines. It's up to you to keep and maintain these boundaries.
Misunderstandings about boundaries do pop up, but couples in healthy relationships address them. These wise couples don't take their partners for granted and are eager to contribute to their relationships. One study2 that investigated the development of wisdom in close relationships concluded that mutual respect, appreciation for their partners and attention to the relationship were hallmarks of these wise couples.
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