In many Nigerian societies and families, wedding ceremonies are considered a vital ritual. In families where culture and religion are held dear, traditional and church/Islamic weddings are usually conducted, but due to the current biting economic reality of the country, things are not the way they usually were, bearing the cost of weddings in mind. Today, we are considering how a woman would react if her fiancé insists only on a traditional wedding, without a church/Islamic one. Below are responses from some of our contributors:
Olademehin Tayo
Any wedding without a traditional wedding is a charade. Marriage is a God-ordained tradition. Most successful persons in Nigeria were not born by white-wedding parents. Couples who married through traditional weddings rarely witness a breakup or divorce. Such things are common among white-wedding couples.
Ndy Presh
I would enlighten her on the consequences of having our marriage contracted purely on customs. As a person from Igbo land where patriarchal rule applies to inheritance, she would be on the losing side per adventure her husband passes on. The prevalence of the culture would disinherit her of her rights to claiming properties upon the demise of her husband. To be safe, it would be best if the marriage is contracted legally, which would offer the enforcement of her rights to inheritance and real property.
You could know more of this by studying popular judicial cases and antecedents in Nigeria. I recommend Nezianya vs Okagbue 1963, Mojeku vs Mojeku 1997, and Nzekwu vs Nzekwu 2014.
Annah David
I would insist on getting a certificate of marriage to whether from the court or the church without gathering people for ceremony.
Chidinma
Our wedding should reflect the uniqueness of our relationship. If my fiancé prefers a traditional wedding, I would see it as an opportunity to showcase the diversity that makes our love special. We could use this celebration to educate our friends and families about the beauty of different customs and traditions. By doing so, we not only honour our individual backgrounds but also contribute to a more inclusive and understanding community. It is a chance to celebrate love in all its diverse forms.
Folaranmi Olushola
What is a white wedding? It is a traditional wedding of the whites. Africans need to grow up.
Ademiposi Adeyinka
I have not seen marriage certificates of my father and mother. I grew up seeing them together and they are still there today living peacefully. So, who does a marriage certificate help? Does it add any joy to marriage? Does it stop or discourage abusing husbands or wives? Does it stop cheating partners? The answer to all is a No. So, what is the headache about it?
Modupe Abayomi
Actually, traditional and white weddings serve the same purpose, which is being joined together in marriage. The difference is that one is in the church and the other is by tradition. If the reasons he is insisting only on a traditional wedding are genuine and reasonable, I would consent. White wedding is not compulsory.
Joel Joshua
Before we become fiancé and fiancée we must have agreed on certain things.
Joy Ikechukwu
If my partner says such a thing, it must be something we have sat down to weigh the pros and cons together. While I would love to have a white wedding, if my partner gives justifiable reasons not to, I would not have any problem with that. If I cannot him trust with a decision on the type of wedding we want to have, why should I trust him with the rest of my life?
Shayo Balogun
If my fiancé insists on having only a traditional wedding, without a white wedding, I would embrace it wholeheartedly. It is essential to respect each other's cultural backgrounds and preferences. A traditional wedding can be a beautiful and meaningful experience, filled with rituals and customs that connect us to our roots. I would see it as an opportunity to celebrate our heritage and create lasting memories that reflect the rich tapestry of our diverse backgrounds.
Tosin Awoniyi
I would not react negatively because I do not like noise. I prefer doing things quietly and privately, anytime, any day. So, if my fiancé insists that we should do only a traditional weddings, without a white wedding, I would be elated.
Tayo Faniran
I believe in finding common grounds. So, if my fiancé insists on a traditional wedding, I would suggest a compromise. We could incorporate elements of both traditions into the celebration, creating a unique and personalised ceremony. This way, we honour our cultural heritage while also adding a touch of modernity. It is crucial to build a foundation for our life that allows us to start our journey as a couple on a harmonious note.
Ife Akinsola
If we would be doing a customary wedding, alongside the traditional wedding, it is fine with me. But I would want to know his reasons for not wanting a white wedding.
Temitayo Abeke
Communication is key in any relationship. If my fiancé insists on only a traditional wedding, I will want to understand the reasons behind this preference. Through open and honest communication, we could explore the significance of tradition in their eyes and find common ground. It is a chance for us to deepen our understanding of each other's values and make informed decisions that reflect our shared commitment to building a life together.
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