Narcissism has become a buzzword in therapy-speak, but what does it really mean?
Have you ever wondered if your relationship is normal or toxic? Is this how men are, or is my man just narcissistic and controlling? Well, here's how to find out:
Narcissism is described as a pattern of grandiosity, a constant desire for admiration, and a lack of empathy, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
These requirements must be met in at least five instances: an overinflated perception of self; obsession with illusions of unending success, beauty, or ideal love; a conviction that they are unique and special and that they should associate with or be understood by other elite or highly-regarded individuals or groups; a desire for unwarranted admiration; and a feeling of entitlement.
Apart from the diagnostic definition of a narcissist, what should you look out for?
1. Manipulation
Throughout the relationship, your partner will use subtly threatening language. Even though they might not say it out loud, you will sense that if you don't give in to what they want, there will be repercussions. Even if you don't truly agree with what they want, it can often be easier to just go along with it. This is a technique they use to manipulate and control their partners in order to acquire what they desire.
2. Constant criticism that causes self doubt
Despite all that you've accomplished in your life, you still feel inadequate. This is because your partner frequently criticizes you or expresses disapproval with what you do. Nothing you do or accomplish is good enough.
Your partner constantly criticizes the way you look, what you wear, and how you present yourself. They ridicule and degrade you; this may occur in front of you, behind your back, or in the presence of your friends and acquaintances. This is because they put others down to prop up their own egos.
3. Lack of responsibility
A sincere apology from a narcissist is almost impossible. Most likely, your narcissistic partner always places the blame for their behavior on you. No matter how badly they act, it's always your fault. It seems logical that saying sorry would be out of the question for narcissists because they don't view other people as an equal, and even if they apologize, they will make excuses about how you made them act out of character and not that their actions are wrong.
4. Isolation
A common tactic used by narcissistic people to alienate their partners is saying negative things about their friends and family, which results in guilt and the feeling that they need to change their friends or avoid their family.
They might remind you of fights with your friends and tell you how they are not good for you, or they might insist you spend time with them when you make plans with your friends or family. They always put you in a challenging situation where you have to choose between them and your friends to show you love them.
5. They have a charming but deceptive personality
You find yourself interacting with someone who is entirely different from what everyone else sees. Your man appears to be a lovely, assured, and accomplished person; in short, that's why you fell in love with him. Everyone loves them, but the only reason they appear this way is because they are so good at masking their true selves publicly. When you first met them, they charmed you, but the moment you're alone with your lover, everything changes and they act so cruel towards you.
Finally, narcissists are huge gaslighters, they will make you question yourself and make you wonder whether you're being too sensitive, you constantly blame yourself when something goes wrong and, you apologize a lot. Even if you can't put your finger on what's wrong, you know something isn't right. You frequently ponder whether your responses to your partner are appropriate because you don't want to offend him and you try to explain his actions.
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