We often hear people talk about how they want to get married so they can have a lot of sex.
For many married couples, sex nosedives after marriage
As most married people would tell you, the sex is not as much or as great as when they start dating.
When a new relationship begins, there is a lot of sexual energy to dispense. There is a curiosity to explore each other's bodies and learn more about each other.
The desire is at its peak until the law of diminishing marginal utility sets in. The law of diminishing marginal utility states that as consumption increases, satisfaction diminishes.
Why does the frequency of sex decrease?
There are many reasons why sex can decline in a relationship.
Work and stress
Work can get so busy many couples can forget to make love. Plus, between running errands and taking care of kids, sometimes all they want is a good night's rest.
Someone has pulled out of the relationship
When a party is no longer interested in the relationship, sex is off the table and even when it is done, it feels different and passionless.
Unresolved anger and resentment
If you're harbouring resentment towards one another, you are less likely to be intimate. Open communication and letting each other know what's gone wrong and how both of you can mend the relationship is a good first step.
One person isn't enjoying sex
If the sex is consistently bad, then don't expect that your partner to be happy at the chance to have sex with you.
Health reasons
Perhaps one of you is recovering from surgery, is sick or just gave birth that can bring a pause to your sex life.
Someone is having an affair
No one likes to admit it, but if your partner is cheating on you, the sex might not be the same, their attention is divided.
Interestingly, it might also mean more frequent sex as over-compensation for cheating.
How to revive the spark
Talk about why the sex isn't good anymore.
Plan a getaway. Schedule time away from the kids and work as often as you can.
Give each other a lot of kisses, hugs, hold hands, cuddle and touch each other as often as possible.
Have sex even when you don't feel like it. Put sex in your schedule, once you start you would begin to enjoy it
Deal with whatever issue is causing distrust and resentment. Don't just talk about, work on it.
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