At the start of a relationship, the involved individuals are over the moon as they yearn for each other and can't help being apart. It is at first electrifying until it is not. There are myriads of reasons that make a relationship go sour and perhaps lead to growing apart. In such scenarios, many are trapped in a failed relationship that keeps dragging when some individuals in the relationship want to call it quits.
How do you let down your partner easily when the flames are no more? How do you navigate a bloomless relationship? How can the split in relationships take place in a healthy fashion that limits troubling issues that can arise like depression and a messy breakup?
What Does it Involve And Why Is It Hard?
Breaking up is hard even though in some cases it's for the best, but for the emotional investment that has gone into the relationship. Regardless, some things must come to an end and this scene is one that is probably familiar to some individuals.
Mixed feelings always come to the mix when tied to such scenarios. Consequently, lots of questions arise and one is caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. The future flashes before you and you wonder what the days ahead might bring.. So this resolution may need lots of sleeping on and some cases may vary where an instantaneous decision takes place.
Breaking up generally involves that dreadful conversation that many avoid, thus inspiring a messy split. In reality, there is no good way to break up with someone but for the singular reason of being human and considerate about it here are some expert ways to subtly call it quits with your soon to be ex.
Shun It?
First be sure that you want to call the relationship quits and when that is established, the conversation point commences. According to Rebecca Hendrix, a psychotherapist, "A breakup is something that you want to do once you've thought about it over time." Running away from the breakup conversation will not be of help here. Think the whole process through which the words uttered have to be chosen wisely; remember it's a sensitive part that is being threaded.
Be Considerate
Be emphatic towards the situation by trying to wear the shoes of the other partner. Another expert, Franklin Porter, a clinical psychologist at New York suggests that ''Empathy for the partner's experience of being broken up with, and the ability to express it, can go a long way to assuaging the inevitable pain." As such, empathy plays a role in making the relation less messy and awkward in the end especially when not on the receiving side. Porters also says "If you've been on the receiving end of a breakup in the past you would probably have a good idea how it feels, and recalling those feelings beforehand would be beneficial in managing your message." Additionally, thinking of the tone used, a marriage and family expert Dr. Carolina Pataky, says, "Be authentic to yourself and what you want... You don't want to confuse or eventually 'ghost' them. You want to be polite but very clear."
You Cannot Control How They React
Anticipate your partner's reaction and know that you can't be in control of it. According to Porter, "There is no guarantee that the conversation will be effective, because one can only control the message sent, not how it's received." This way, even if the other party is filled with rage, the other individual bearing the bad news is ready to deal with it as a "No."
Calling It Quits Is Ok
Do not get stock by delaying the inevitable. Experts like Hendrix again advice, "Remind yourself that it's OK to leave a relationship that isn't working for you.". "It's a self-honoring choice that you're making because you don't see a future together. And if it's not a good fit for you, then it's not a good fit for them, even though they may not be aware of it as much as you are."
Remind yourself that a breakup isn't bad because not all relationships grow to the intended point. Sometimes, choose to see it as a favourable act for one's mental health. In the end speaking up about wanting to break up will only be doing you and your partner a favour.
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