I can't stop sleeping with men even though I am marrying the woman of my dreams in three months.
I'm 25 and my lovely fiancée is 23. We met two years ago at a mutual friend's party and we have a great relationship. We both love decorating our home and planning our future together - kids, the lot. When we met, I had been on my own since my secret relationship with another man ended.
I did not tell my fiancée about my former boyfriend and tried to forget all about him and my bisexuality. It worked for a while but the urge to meet up with other men and have s*x was always there. Temptation finally got the better of me one night, when I went on to Grindr and started to meet up with other men.
I have had s*x with quite a few of them now. I am always honest with them that I am not looking for anything long-term but there are plenty of others in a similar situation. It is easy for me to meet guys without my fiancée knowing.
She is a nurse and works long, unsociable hours.
I know what I am doing is completely wrong.
I would feel gutted if she cheated on me. I have never plucked up the courage to tell her about my sexuality and now the wedding is all booked and paid for. My fiancée is so excited and can't wait for our big day but as it approaches, I am becoming more and more uneasy. I can't decide whether I should tell her that I am bisexual.
I have tried in the past but it is so hard.
I know what I have to say will break her heart.
I'm trying to put a brave face on it but keeping this a secret is killing me.
I feel so guilty.
Comments