I am in love with a married man who says he loves me. S*x with him is out of this world but he cannot make up his mind over leaving his wife. I am 49 and he's 42. I had met him a few times with his wife at a mutual friend's house.
I had always admired him and he is very good-looking and charming. Then he came to a friend's party alone because his wife had stayed home with a sick teenager and we just clicked.
We started messaging and he said he loved me. We arranged to meet for dinner and it was so romantic. He booked a hotel room and we became lovers that night.
It was amazing for us both, as neither of us had had sex in years.
I am divorced and he and his wife sleep separately.
After that we met when he could make it and the sex was very intense and passionate.
He kept telling me I was the love of his life and we would be together. I believed him and was on cloud nine. His wife hasn't worked for years and his kids aren't earning yet. He complains of being taken for granted but says he cannot break free. He is trapped.
He calls me when he finds the time but sometimes goes a few weeks without getting in touch. There is always a good excuse. I have ended it several times, saying I want more. He says I deserve more but then will contact me again with promises. I fall for it and we go back into the same cycle.
Somehow he manages to get under my skin and I sympathise with him. Deep down I know only he can change his life but, if I am being honest I do not think he ever will. My kids and grandchildren keep me busy and I work full time, but I get lonely.
However I am beginning to realise I need to break free of him, as he is affecting my emotional wellbeing. I am over the moon when I see him, then a wreck when he goes. I am told I look years younger than my age and I could find someone who wants me, so why have I let this relationship bring me to my knees?
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